Maybe there's no such thing as an expendable bike (or, why tuning up your bike while out for a ride is a highly worthwhile option).

I bought a 20+ yr old Ross MTB off of craigslist the other day. I bought it because a) I'd been wanting an old mountain bike with horizontal dropouts to make a single-speed utility bike out of (with horizontal dropouts you don't have to use those ugly chain tensioners), and b) it was $25.

Once I got it home, I took a closer look at it and it was kind of a mess. It had been cobbled together with varying degrees of success. The brake pads don't match, the wheel aren't original (or matching), it's got a 1 piece crank with plastic pedals, the front derailer didn't work, the wheels were out of true, and it weighs about 40 pounds.

So yeah, it's about what you'd expect for a bike you paid $25 for.

It had been sitting in my apartment for a while, but after this weekends threats of bike confiscation, and the ongoing issue with bikes being taken home by someone other than their lawful owners, I thought this might be an ideal "expendable bike", in that I didn't have much in the way of $, blood, sweat, or tears in it, so if anything happened to it, it would be a hassle, but not one that I'd be bummed for weeks about.

So, I took a closer look at it, got the wheels true enough not to rub or squeak, the brakes working well enough to at least slow forward progress, and the front derailer marginally working, and decided to take it out for a spin.

It was a beautiful night tonight. Holy cow. The winds had blown the pollution elsewhere, so the air was clear and you could see stars in the sky, and the temperature was reasonably warm. (Unfortunately I forgot my camera and didn't realize I had the camera on my phone available until there wasn't much interesting scenery.)

So I donned the helmet and riding glasses (these are the greatest things in the world, and everyone should have a pair. If you don't need a dozen, Bikerowave has a few pair available.), took the usual backpack full of gear, and headed out toward Venice Beach.

So how was it?

Pretty slow, as you'd expect a fat-tired 40lb mountain bike to be.

But honestly, you can only blame the bike so much, as any bike will go as fast as the rider can pedal it, and in this case, that wasn't very fast. I'd forgotten how much I tend to dawdle and daydream as I coast along, which you can't really do on a fixed gear.

Tuning up your bike while you ride is definitely an OUTSTANDING option if you've got the tools handy. Working at your home is fun, but it's easy to get distracted and wander off for a snack or see what's on the internet, and working on your bike at your local bike co-op is STUPENDOUS, except that with so many nice people and great tools around, it's easy to get in over your head and decide a frame-up rebuild is really what the bike deserves and that it really won't take that long, only to find your bike still in pieces weeks later.

So I rode out to tune it up as I went, and that was absolutely the right way to go.

Now, tuning your bike at benches at bus stops along Venice Blvd. and along the boardwalk at Venice Beach at 10 or 11 o'clock at night may not be the best option for everyone, but it sure worked for me.

First the derailers started acting up. At one point I threw the chain past the largest chainring, so I had to stop and sort that out, and then the rear derailer wouldn't stay in high gear, so I had to play with the limit screws repeatedly, until I noticed that I had a 7 speed rear cogset. Since I'm pretty sure the bike was a 12 speed originally, that explained why it wouldn't go into the highest gear. So I tightened the limit screw and took that 7th gear out of play, so it was once again a fully functional 12 speed. A few more adjustments to seat height, shifter/brake lever location, etc., and it was good to go.

Venice beach was great. You could stop at a bench under a light and make a few adjustments, pedal a hundred yards or so, stop at another bench under another light and make a few more adjustments, and keep going, repeating the process as necessary.

Once I got to Ocean Park on the bike path, I cut over to Main St. and took that to Abbott Kinney to Venice Blvd. on back home. Two hours to go ten miles or so is nothing to be proud of, but the bike is reasonably well dialed in.

It could use some more substantial attention, but it's good for messing around on right now.

That's exactly what I need.

You hear a LOT of talk about how riding fixed gear is "a zen thing" (48,800 hits on google for the keywords zen fixed gear), but I think the real zen of riding comes from rolling around on a dirt cheap MTB.

If you're trying to practice the Buddhist concepts of "equanimity" and "non-attachment" to material things, that's kind of hard if you're afraid to let your oh-so-zen fixie out of your sight, and find yourself skipping errands by bike because it's such a pain in the ass to properly secure a bicycle (u-lock + cable, etc.), if you want to make sure your wheels and frame are there when you return.

I have a feeling I'm going to be doing a lot more errands on this bike, as I can't imagine these old parts would be easy to fence.

The pictures above and below are the bike. The difference is that the top one was adjusted using the "picnik" function in flickr. If you haven't checked that out yet, it might be worth your while. Just click the "edit photos" icon.

Have a great week!

Crankmob Gang Warz - Been there, done that (most of it), got the citation for CVC 21106(b).

First, a warning. Officer P. asked us to pass this along, and since he was a reasonably fair guy, and this is something some of you may want to know about, here it is:

Starting next week, individuals getting pulled over on party rides and cited WILL HAVE THEIR BIKES CONFISCATED.

Next Saturday's All Day Bike Ride / Event is entitled "The Death of Fun", and given the prophetic nature of the last few ride names, it's probably a good time to a) put a little extra effort into riding in a law abiding manner, and b) don't bring a bike you can't live without on a group ride (there are plenty of rideable/nearly rideable mountain bikes on craigslist for less than $100). Obviously, they're not going to confiscate the bike of every violator, but it would be a major drag if it was yours, so common sense may help here.

I'd been pretty ambivalent about attending this month's Crank Mob.

On the one hand, this ride is the biggest party ride in L.A., which probably puts it in contention for the biggest regular party ride anywhere in the states, and a ton of my cycling friends are usually there, so it's usually a pretty great time.

On the other hand, this ride is the biggest party ride in L.A., which means it's a lot like a mobile nightclub with no age restrictions and no bouncers, which means inebriated teenagers, people using the crowd as an outlet for anti-social behavior, and this ride was called Gang Warz, which kinda seemed like a bad idea. With the theft/tagging that's occurred on a number of rides lately, that title just seemed absurd, even if the organizers of the ride intended the "gangs" to be (and for the most part they were) festively costumed pirates, aliens, girls in small leopard print outfits, girls in small non-leopard print outfits, folks with red helmet mohawks, '50s greasers, etc., etc., etc.

So I rolled out to Crankmob Park where a couple of hundred people had gathered. After shooting the breeze for a bit and helping a few folks make some last minute adjustments, we gathered behind Alec on a tall bike, and made our way around Culver City and up Robertson and La Cienega to Hollywood. Alec on his tall bike, and Richie on his taller bike, Kabuki Sky, brought joy to the masses. It's amazing how excited people get about seeing a tall bike. There was one group of little kids standing out on the sidewalk who absolutely LOVED seeing Kabuki Sky roll by.

After a while, we got to the first stop, Pan Pacific Park:



This was the first gathering point, as the ride outgrew it's previous starting point on Sawtelle in West L.A., so people rode in groups from various parts of the city and gathered here.

Lots and lots of people showed up.



There was a live band, jump rope, and fun was had by all. After a while, we got back on our bikes and headed off for what should have been a fairly short jaunt to the next stop. Unfortunately, I was in the back half of the group, so by the time we got toward the Ralph's which was our destination, someone who had arrived earlier had apparently decided not to pay for his items, and caused the police to be dispatched. (Apparently one of the ride organizers helped apprehend the thief. WELL DONE SIR.)

Lots of police were dispatched.

Who, by strategically blocking intersections directed the group out of West Hollywood and up toward actual Hollywood.

Then we headed East on Hollywood Blvd., which was pretty much a total fiasco.

Poorly corked/run intersections, irate motorists, cyclists not used to riding in groups, made for a BIG mess. I tried to time the intersections so I entered them on a green light, but with a group of close to 1,000 cyclists, some of the motorists were getting impatient, especially if they'd waited through the previous few lights and were trying to make a left turn.

We continued over the 101 on Hollywood Blvd. through Thai Town, and shortly after passing through an intersection, one I'd tried to enter on a green light, despite dozens and dozens of people in front of me who'd completely blown it, I heard an engine revving and a voice saying "Pull over!" "Pull over!" "All six of you pull over!"

I pulled over. One young woman didn't stop as quickly, and the patrol car swerved next to her, and the officer in the passenger seat flung his door open and she slowed down but still ran into it. (This officer was a rookie, I'm guessing (hoping), and like rookie cops in the movies, he'll be providing the comic relief in this scene.)

So we sat on the curb, as directed, while the driver, Officer P. called for backup, and explained to us that this ride had been causing major problems (14 service calls so far, 2 car accidents, and according to what he'd heard over the radio, some people had started breaking windows.) He also explained that he COULD cite us all for reckless driving, or running a red, but WOULD be citing us for CVC 21106(b), which is basically a jaywalking ticket (jaycycling?), and would be substantially cheaper and would not be a moving violation / affect our car insurance. He also explained that his superiors had been encouraging confiscation of bikes, and that we should be aware that bike confiscations by the police will begin in earnest over the next few weeks.

So, while he was explaining this to us, his partner (the assumed rookie) had apparently become convinced that these evening group bicycle rides were the expression of some sinister anarchist cabal, and began asking us questions like "Are you guys anarchists?" and "Did you guys like that movie "V for Vendetta"? Pretty good movie huh?"

Now, in dealing with law enforcement, I generally find the best plan to be quiet and contrite, but this guy was really making it tough. I may be a lot of things (I was called "Mr. Wrench Guy" and "Fatass" on this ride alone (by a fellow rider and a surly pedestrian respectively), but an anarchist I most certainly am not. (If this officer were seriously looking for those out to undermine local government, he could probably start with the mayor's office and the city council, who have made this city an absolute laughingstock. Some of the worst public schools in the country, the most economically segregated city in the country, and the home of fewer Fortune 500 companies than any number of tiny burgs, and a hundred some million dollar budget deficit. Talk about damaging to the city's future, good grief.)

Meanwhile, an LAPD helicopter was making big circles a mile or so away, presumably where the rest of the riders were.

After a few minutes, Officer P. began handing out citations, except for one guy, who apparently had 2 outstanding warrants worth some $80,000 bail according to the officer; he was cuffed and placed in the back of the squad car. (Not to self, going to group rides with outstanding warrants is probably not a good plan. (Nor is HAVING outstanding warrants in the first place, but I digress.)) Meanwhile some random cyclist came riding up on the sidewalk, ignored the officers direction to go around us, and found himself cited for riding on the sidewalk (which I believe is legal in Los Angeles), and not having a front light on his bike (which is not), but basically was cited for having a bad attitude, as he treated the cop like a friend he disagreed with, more or less "dude, ok, whatever" which is rarely a good plan.

So I signed my citation, got my copy, grabbed my bike, and rode on home. I suppose I could have caught up with the group, but I was pretty much done, so I turned down a side street and headed homeward.

Caught Santa Monica and had a nice ride through East/West Hollywood, saw people out for a fun evening, hookers, transvestites, transvestite hookers, and a surprising number of my fellow crankmobbers, who kept turning up at random intervals, which was pretty cool.

Santa Monica's not a bad ride, and there's a bike lane for some parts of it, so I took it from East of the 101 all the way to Sepulveda, then down Sepulveda back to Palms.

So notes for next time:
Bring an expendable bike.
Obey the law extra-carefully.
Be respectful to law enforcement if you have to talk to them, they might cut you a break.

I swear, I am having absolutely no luck getting my miles ridden / dollars spent ratio into positive territory.

Between the ridiculous pink fixie that got out of hand, my lack of riding recently, this citation, and now the $ I'm going to have to spend getting the 20+yr old MTB I bought for $25 the other day up and running so I don't have to cry if it gets taken (lawfully or un), I'd better start putting in the miles.

It WAS a beautiful night though, and I got in 20+ miles and made it home safely, so I really can't complain.

In closing, I leave you with Jon LaJoie's latest song. It's a little more philosophical than his previous work, so enjoy.



Further bulletins as events warrant.

Madoff and the Scraper Bike

If you've been following the news recently, you've probably seen that Bernard Madoff will plead guilty Friday.

Now, for those of you who have not been following this saga, Bernard Madoff is perhaps the most successful thief of the last century (in terms of amount stolen, obviously, not in terms of never getting caught), and perhaps one of the most successful of all time, what with having set up a $64.8 BILLION dollar Ponzi Scheme.

It was a pretty slick operation.
1. Gain a reputation as a successful investor with your own trading/investment management firm.
2. Cultivate an air of exclusivity, restrict access and reveal little about your operations.
3. Have a nice office and do philanthropic work to improve your public image.
4. Continue seeking investors, while making them feel like they're lucky to be able to work with you.
5. Pocket their money instead of investing it while sending out statements suggesting unusually good returns.
7. Continue for 20 years, and make $64.8 billion of your investors' money disappear.


$64,800,000,000.



That's a lot of money. So far, two investors have committed suicide, and countless others have seen their comfortable retirement prospects vanish. When you make a Holocaust surviving Nobel Peace Prize winner start having punishment fantasies about you, that's a bad sign.

I've got to wonder how Madoff's going to be feeling tomorrow, since he'll plead guilty and most likely spend the rest of his life in prison.

Will he be miserable? Or will he feel a sense of calm, since he no longer has to deal with pretending to be the friend of the people he was stealing from, but can spend his old age as a convicted felon, being fed, housed, clothed and doctored courtesy of the government.

That desire of getting something for nothing is a killer.

Madoff wasn't the only one who had it either, he just had a worse case of it than most of us.

But that greed had been pretty widespread.

Right now, we're facing an economic crisis unlike any ever seen in our lifetime, because a whole spectrum of society decided to discard basic economics and common sense, and instead believe that real estate is MAGIC.

Watch this movie if you want to get a sense of how things went wrong:



A lot of people got greedy, and now we're all stuck with the bill.

So what's the alternative?

Having fun with what you've got.

Like the Trunk Boiz. If a custom car is too much for you, you don't have to get up to your eyeballs in debt, you can customize a ride you can afford.



Sure, fancy cars and big houses are awesome, but there's a lot to be said for living within your means and building from there.

That "Scraper Bike" song?

I'm movin' on my scraper bike
I'm cruisin' on my scraper bike
My scraper bike go hard
I don't need no car

Kinda ridiculous? Kinda like what you'd expect from some bored kids having fun on a budget?

Yeah.

Now they've got merchandise.

And a ring tone.

And an NPR story.

And Madoff's going to spend the rest of his life in prison.

Live within your means, build from there, don't get greedy, win.

It's pretty simple, really.

The ridiculous pink fixie part 5, all done - time to ride.

So, after a couple of months at the powdercoater, and a couple of weeks waiting on parts, the ridiculous pink fixie, aka the Telemagenta Traveler, is complete.

What started as a $20 frame and a $7 stem and a rough draft on pedalmafia,



became a better version on pedalmafia,



and, after the application of a nice coat of pink powdercoat, and several hundreds of dollars worth of parts and accessories, is finally complete.

If you're going to do a project like this, it helps to shop around and to have access to a bike co-op/collective. The total budget on this bike was about $560, from the initial frame to the final bolts, including the free shop time and a significant discount on a number of the parts. You can spend a lot more if you want (if the link gets flagged/removed, it was a Soma Rush fixie going for $1750. Seriously.), or you can spend significantly less and get a Mercier/Motobecane from bikesdirect.com, or do a fixie conversion on a budget. While some might say that spending that much on a high-ten-framed fixie conversion is absurd, I think the education and the finished product were well worth it.









It really is nice, if I do say so myself.

The old Schwinn frame, while not as strong or as light as the chromoly currently in use on most bikes today, has an outstanding ride quality. It's not as stiff, and the 46x16 gearing seems a lot more user-friendly than the 48x16 I'd been riding.

I'm still dialing it in to get it as comfortable and well-fitting as possible, but it's been tremendous fun so far.

Now I've just got to ride this ridiculous thing on a regular basis, and stop thinking about the steampunk themed bike with carbide lamps for headlights and lots of brass fittings that I want to build next.

The ridiculous pink fixie part 4, pedals, brake lever, wheels, chain, etc. and finishing the build.

So, once you've got the crank on, it's time to install the pedals.

One most bikes, the left pedal is reverse threaded, so when you install the pedals, remember to screw the threads on the pedals toward the front of the bike, and remember that you have left and right pedals.

(This is important, because your pedal threads are usually steel, and your crank is usually aluminum, and screwing your pedals in the wrong way, or screwing in a pedal on the wrong side can ruin the threads on that crank, which can mean a trip to the bike shop to have the threads re-tapped, or worse, to buy a new crank.)



I got these pedals at L.A. Bicycles on Hoover down by USC for a pretty decent deal (Origin 8 pedals and riser bars and a cog and lockring for $60), but while I was installing them, I noticed something funny:



(Apparently Origin 8's a subsidiary of/supplied by Wellgo. Who knew? They're pretty decent pedals though.)

Once the pedals were on, it was time to install the wheels.

I got the wheels from Bell's Bike Shop in Philadelphia, and Steve, the owner, is a really good guy.



The wheel's didn't even need truing, which was awesome. They were a little more scratched than I'd expected, so I sent him a couple of pics, and he apologized, and said they should never have been sent, and offered a brand new replacement set, or a discount for the set I got. I asked him for a set of Space Straps instead, and he agreed and I should have them in my PO Box.

So if you're looking for a good set of wheels, well-built, at a great price, from a place that offers great customer service, I recommend Bell's Bike Shop

Since the wheels were true, all I had to do was install the cog and lock ring,



put the rim strip on, install the tires, tubes, and Mr. Tuffy Wheel Liners, add air, and the wheels were good to go.

Then it was time for handlebars and the brake lever. (When installing handlebars, make sure you use bar end caps, as otherwise you can really injure yourself if you fall. The term "core sample" is often used.)

I got a snazzy Goldfinger brake lever, which unfortunately was not well sized for my handlebars, but some less than snazzy used inner tube made a nice shim.



Then it was time to cut a length of brake cable housing, put ferrules on each end, and set it in place.



Then run the new brake cable, and make sure to properly align the brake pads against the machined surface.



(Move them up, in this case.)

Then adjust the brake cable to ensure a snug fit, trim the brake cable, add another ferrule to keep the cable from untangling, and you've got the brake installed.



(I only installed a front brake, as the front brake does 90% of the braking, and with a fixed gear, your legs can act as a rear brake. Having a front brake on a fixed gear is a really good idea, as you can stop more quickly with a brake. Also, chains can occasionally snap, so if the chain is your only brake, that can pose a problem.)

At this point, installing the chain was about the only thing left to do.



Trim the chain to size with the chain tool, add the master link (seen faintly on the stool) to lock everything in place, and that's pretty much it.

The ridiculous pink fixie, part 3, fork/headset/crank/ installation, and the goofups that ensued.

OK,I'm going to skip the fork/headset instructions, as after looking at the Park Tools instructions, I installed my headset bearings upside down "The open side of the ball retainer should face the cone shaped race, not the cup shaped race."

I thought it was smoother with the bearings facing the cups, but I goofed, so follow the instructions when you do this. The proper Park Tools Instructions are here - http://www.parktool.com/repair/readhowto.asp?id=127

UPDATE 3/23/09 - After further discussion/disassembly/reassembly, it looks as thoug the open side of the ball retainer does in fact face the cups on this particular old Schwinn. I tried it both ways, and it was a mess to do it per the instructions, as the bearings felt completely wrong. After discussion with Bikerowave manager and guru Steve Mattson, it was pretty clear that I'd done it right the first time.

Here's how it looked once I got it done.



With the stem installed.



Then it was time to chase and face the bottom bracket. This is done with a bottom bracket chaser.



To chase your bottom bracket threads, look at the tool, figure out which side is left and right, then put the tool back together through your bottom bracket, like so:



Then, put a tray underneath the bottom bracket, squirt a little cutting fluid,



and, assuming you're using a standard threaded bottom bracket, turn the handles on each side toward the back of the bike (the right side of the bottom bracket is reverse threaded).

Then, replace the thread chasing implement with the facing cutter and remove the paint/powdercoat around the edge of your bottom bracket so your bottom bracket will fit smoothly.



It should end up looking something like this:



Now, you get to install the bottom bracket.



This one is a Shimano UN-54, which is more or less the standard square taper bottom bracket if you're looking for good quality and value. If you're making a conversion, you can try using your existing bottom bracket, but if you're going to be using a new crank, and you're building a fixie, you should probably get the right size bottom bracket for that crank, so your chainline will be straight. In this case, I need a 107mm bottom bracket. (This is the width of the spindle, the bottom bracket shell itself is usually 68mm for road bikes, 73mm for mountain bikes, measure BEFORE you buy.)

To install the bottom bracket, put the bottom bracket in the shell, hand tighten the cups on each side, find the right sized bottom bracket tool,



and wrench the cups down snugly, but not so snugly that they interfere with the smooth rotation of the spindle.



Once you've got your bottom bracket installed, it's time to install the crank. On a standard square taper, this is a simple matter of tightening down a crank nut on each side, or with this bottom bracket, tightening down a crank bolt on each side.
(Note, when doing this, please don't hang on to your bottom bracket tool while you're using an allen wrench, or you may be happily cranking down on your crank bolt, only to hear an awkward grating sound as the bottom bracket tool scrapes a nice gouge out of your beautiful blue anodizing, only millimeters away from the tape that was protecting your crank.)



Ouch. Luckily that's the sort of thing you're not going to notice easily, and aluminum doesn't rust, so it's not really a concern. Once installed, the cranks look pretty good.